small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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