3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Congratulations! We have a period
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