thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize