so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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