College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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