Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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