I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
