Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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