ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
