My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
