we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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