He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I understand Curling. That high.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
