what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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