Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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