Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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