I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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