Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
