I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
