remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
