either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
