you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
