just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
