If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
