She just used a chaser for red wine.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
