Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
