He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
