Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
foreskin is a definite game changer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
