Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize