Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
