I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
