I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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