Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
