My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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