it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
