sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize