She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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