don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
