Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
