best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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