I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
