the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize