Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
FUCK WHALES
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize