i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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