You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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