at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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