porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Screwed.edu
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
