worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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