he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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