maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
