I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
