Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
