you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
