susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
