i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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