How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
