What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
