He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
