if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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