naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
