he was CRYING into my vagina
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My dick has a subreddit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
